Lunar 22

Chapter 22 Aza and Katia’s Broken
Heart
“What happened Katia? Why did he reject us?” Aza whimpered in the
corner of my mind. “What was wrong with us?”
“I don’t know Aza. I was so afraid of this. The pain, it hurts so much.” Tears
were running down my face smearing the fake make up and blood still on
my face. We have no strength to shift, and we just keep running on pure
heart break and pain.
My wolfie is devastated she had so much faith in out fated mate. He didn’t
even try to get to know us. “Why Katia? Why? We are small but we are a
woman grown now. He does not know what we have been through, but he
called us weak.”
“He believed us to be a child playing at make believe, Wolfie. Why could
he not see us? What is wrong with us? Where is our love? Our happy
ending?” Wolfie and her girly that is what we are. What we have always
been. Aza my loving Wolfie has always been with me ever since I can
remember she has been in my mind talking to me and giving me all the
love, she could. I have done the same for her. This world has shown us that
there is nothing and no one out there for us. That we will never be that
perfect all adoring love from a fated mate. We weren’t good enough for
him. He didn’t want us.
“Wolfie, Kelp keeps talking about how special we are because of this moon
touched thing. I think it is only special for some people. Not for us. I think
it is some kind of punishment for us. If this is special, it is too painful, and I
would have liked to try normal instead.”
“I don’t know girly, I am tired. How about you? I am tired of us having to
fight all the time for our life. I am tired of watching them hurt you. We have
always tried to be good. You did everything those people who raised you
told you to do. We went without food. Froze during the winter without the
right clothing. You have done nothing to earn the treatment you found at
any of their hands.” The pain in Wolfie’s voice was heartbreaking and I
could feel my heart shattering even more. It was like shards of glass
stabbing into and ripping my heart to pieces. Somehow together we
continued to stay upright and gather strength to keep going.
Mark, Kelp, Doc, Coral, Eric, and the rest can feel the pain we are feeling.
We can hear them yelling at us. We know they love us, but it is not the love
we were promised by the fated mate bond. It is not enough. All of it, all the
pain from the last almost seventeen years is coming together and striking at
us. It is unbearable and we want to fall to our knees. Just lay there and let it
destroy us. Aza and I don’t, we continue running.
Running with everything we will never have, because of his rejection, going
through our minds. No love, no laughter, no romance, no love making, no
kisses and hugs, no children, no sweet promises of a wonderful future, no
anticipation of my love’s return when he must go away without me, no
holiday and birthday celebrations together. No memories to cherish when
we eventually pass from this earth.
There is no future for Aza and me. Nothing but darkness, pain, sadness,
hurt, confusion, and wanting to know why we were not good enough. “Aza,
I think it is finally time to just give up. I don’t want to do this life anymore.
I fought like you, Kelp, and Mark, asked me too. I waited for our fated mate
and there was still nothing. I just want the never-ending pain to stop.”
“I agree with you, Katia. It is never going to be different for us. No matter
what we do. How much we stay quiet, still, or try to live and have a life, it
will never be what we deserve.” Our mind and body are weakening the
longer we keep the pace we have been at. Aza and I have run for so long
and far we have no clue where we are. Our legs feel like they are on fire,
but that pain is nothing compared to the pain of the mate broken mate bond
in my chest. It throbs with white how pain shooting like lightening through
my heart.
We no longer hear the others yelling for us. We left them behind. They will
be fine without us. They will stay together and continue to form the new
Moon Touched pack. Aza and I will watch from the other realm as they find
their happiness with a new Alpha and hopefully it will be a kinder world for
them. The tears are still rolling down my cheeks. I guess you never run out
when your heart is shattered, and you have nothing left.
“I hope they all understand, Wolfie. I don’t want them to cry for us. I hope
they remember us with love and no that we tried.”
“They will girly. Mark and Kelp will not let anything tarnish us. They will
sing our praises until we meet them again. You know they will.”
In the distance, there was a rush of loud running water and what sounded
like laughter in the background. Glancing skyward there is a huge waterfall.
Any other time Aza and I would have taken the time to admire its beauty.
Not this time. This is the answer to our problem. We just keep running and
let the majestic beauty of the waterfall sweep us away.
We came to a cliff with a waterfall. The pain is unbearable, and the hurt just
keeps pounding at me. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, all
there is for us is torture, hate, and rejection. I need it to stop. My sweet girl,
and I just want peace.
“I’m sorry, my sweet girl,” I say to my wolf. I’m sorry you have been stuck
with me and have had to suffer everything I have, I think. She whispers,”
it’s not your fault, Katia.”
The edge of the cliff to the waterfall is approaching fast. I keep pumping
my legs and arms letting all the torture, hate, and rejection continue to feed
the pain and propel us forwards. Spreading my arms wide, with tears still
streaming down my face, I leap and fall, not making a sound, waiting for
sweet oblivion where we feel nothing ever again. “I love you, my sweet
girl! Until we meet again, ” I say to my wolf. She replied just before we hit
the water, “I love you too, Katia. I have never regretted a moment with
you.”