My throat tightens, but I stay quiet. Because if I talk, I might ruin it.
“But now you’re here,” he says quietly. “And it’s like… my heart already made its choice. I care about you. I’m not just saying it, Em. I feel it. Every single time I look at you.”
He reaches out and takes my hand only then do I realise it’s shaking.
–
My voice is barely a whisper. “What about Jessica?”
His brows pull together in confusion. “What about her?”
I swallow hard. “Do you love her?”
He doesn’t answer right away, and it makes my chest squeeze. So I keep going, because I
have to.
“Everything I’ve heard about her… it makes it seem like she means more to you than I ever can.” I look away, down at the tiles like they might save me from my embarrassment. “And those two weeks you disappeared… that was because of her, wasn’t it?”
He doesn’t speak right away, but his fingers tighten around mine.
“Yes,” he finally says.
I nod slowly. I already knew, but it still hurts. “Okay. That’s fi-”
“I don’t love her, Emilia.”
His voice cuts through my words, firm and certain.
“I never have.” He leans in just slightly, like he needs me to really hear him. “I’m not sure where you got that idea, but I’m sorry I ever made you think that at all,” He shifts on the stool, clearly uncomfortable, but keeps on going. “If you ever want to know more about her – what happened
you can ask me. I won’t lie to you.”
about
I shake my head quickly. “No. I don’t. I don’t want you to say anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
He narrows his eyes a little, studying me like he can to see straight through my load of crap. Then, almost amused, he says, “You know you can’t look me in the eye when you lie, right?”
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I blink.
“I’m not lying,” I mumble, but my voice wavers just enough to betray me.
―
He smiles barely but it’s there. “You are. But it’s okay. I just wish you’d trust me enough to ask.”
I open my mouth, but he doesn’t let me speak.
“Every time we get close, you pull back. Five steps, maybe ten. Like you’re afraid I’m going
to turn into Zane.”
“I’m not-”
“I’m not him, Emilia.” His voice softens, but every word lands. “Caring about you doesn’t mean I want to control you. Worrying about you doesn’t mean I want to trap you. I’m not here
to cage you
I’m here to stand beside you. To hold your hand while you become exactly who
you want to be.”
—
He looks at me like he’s waiting for something to click. “You don’t have to shut me out just
to stay in control.”
“Zane-”
“No.” His jaw tightens. “Don’t give him that much power.”
“I-”
“I’m not him,” he says again. Then, slower. “I’m. Not. Him.”
He stands, closing the space between us like gravity pulled him forward. One hand wraps around my arm not rough, just grounding. And suddenly we’re chest to chest, the air between us gone. My heart stutters.
–
“When you look at me,” he murmurs, “it’s like you’re still using him as a yardstick. Like he set the rules and now I’m being measured by the damage he left behind.”
His hand grazes my cheek, a featherlight touch that makes me forget how to breathe. “But I’m not him. I’ll never be him. Not even if you begged me to.”
It takes everything in me not to run. But I don’t. I stay rooted, heart pounding. “You don’t know that,” I say quietly.
His lips twitch, and suddenly his whole face softens. The dimple on his left cheek appears,
Chapter 116
and his blue eyes somehow look even brighter like I just said something that mattered to
him.
“I do.”
Something within me shifts. Breaks. Mends.
I don’t even think. I just lean in and press my lips against his.
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