Chapter 18
Chapter 18
FLASHBACK
A few years ago – Ten years old
I repeat my age to myself every day to remind myself that I’m a child, even if my life looks nothing like that of one.
A girl who fights, who sleeps on benches, who learns to shoot, who trains with knives, who lives among men and women who see bodies only as things to be used.
“Hit it, Inara! Hit it!” shouts Khalid.
I’ve been in the gym for three hours. My father never tires of demanding that I hit the punching bag.
My body is at its limit. My legs tremble, and my punches weaken.
I can’t stay upright. I crouch to catch my breath, but even then, I can’t get up. I can’t breathe. I’m dizzy.
And my father won’t relent.
“Back to training, Inara.”
No compassion. Just disdain in his voice for my weakness.
“I’m so weak…” I whisper.
“I… I can’t…”
“Get up now!”
I lift my head, dizzy. I plead with my eyes, but he remains cold and distant.
I try to stand. It’s no use. My body won’t respond.
“Get up! You’re still as weak as ever!”
I’m only ten years old. I barely weigh thirty kilos. He trains me without rest, without water, without mercy.
And I’m scared. Scared of what he’ll do when he sees I can’t get up.
“I’m sorry… I can’t…”
He looks at me with disgust. Grabs my hair and yanks me toward him. I scream in pain.
“Useless! Just like your mother! I told you to get up!”
I cry. I try to wipe away the tears before he sees them, but it’s too late. He throws me to the ground.
A sharp pain shoots through my arm. I landed hard on my wrist.
“Tears are for the weak! You have her blood, you can’t be weak! I would’ve preferred a boy!”
Always the same. Always wished for a boy. But I can’t change my sex to please him.
“You broke my wrist! I can’t move it!”
I scream, I cry, I sniffle.
1/5
“This is the last time you disappoint me. Next time… I’ll kill you with my own hands.”
I know he means it.
“No more excuses! Back to training!”
“I can’t take it anymore… I swear I’m trying, Dad! I’m giving it everything!”
“Call me Khalid! Until you’re strong, I won’t acknowledge you as my daughter!”
I nod in silence.
“On your knees.”
I obey. Every movement hurts.
I kneel, hands on my head. He walks away.
“You make me punish you.”
I hear his belt unbuckle. I close my eyes and bite my lip again. The first blow lands on my back.
“I don’t want weaklings in my way!”
I try to hold back, but I break. I cry. And the blows get stronger.
“Since you were born, I knew that if I didn’t train you, you’d be nothing but a burden.”
He keeps hitting me for ten more minutes. Then he stops.
“Take off your clothes.”
Old habits.
My body tenses. I swallow hard. My heart races. Memories flood my mind.
I beg him with my eyes. He doesn’t respond.
I try to get up. I can’t. I feel fragile-and that’s my greatest sin.
I’m only ten. Barely thirty kilos. And I have no more tears left.
I promised myself I would never cry again. Never let that monster touch me without consequence.
My heart is frozen.
I became what he wanted: strong, the best, so I could avoid his blows. But it never stopped him. He always found a reason to beat me. To send me to the hospital.
I was his punching bag. His living punishment.
And even now, I keep taking the hits-for his dirty deals. As if I was born for it.
“Remember your happy childhood?”
2/5
Chapter 18
His sarcastic tone makes me nauseous. How can he be so cruel?
“You mean my abused childhood, right?”
He gets angry. Slams me against the wall.
“Shut your mouth!”
He lets me go. I don’t touch my head. I walk to the door. Before I leave, I hear:
“Keep the guns a few more days. You’ve got a delivery coming up.”
If I had spoken up back then, he’d be in prison for the rest of his miserable life.
But now it’s too late.
The cold air hits my skin. I shiver.
“Excuse me, miss,” a man’s voice says.
I look up. He’s around forty, with graying hair, a pale complexion, and blue eyes.
Tall, athletic. A scar under his left eye.
“Yes?”
“Do you have a light?”
“I don’t smoke.”
He nods slightly.
I need to think. I need to figure out how to get to Alexander again.
It’s the only way I can save my life.
The next day
PRISON
2:10 p.m.
I spent the whole evening trying to find a way not to get myself killed, and I finally came up with one. It’s risky. But survival is what matters.
Mathieu pulls me from my thoughts:
“When you had your coffee yesterday, you disappeared and never came back.”
I turn my head to look at him.
“I had a slight setback.”
“That setback wouldn’t be named Alexander Graves, would it?”
I raise an eyebrow, then check that the door is closed to make sure no one hears us. He gives me a knowing smile, but I deny
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
3/5
“I’m not insulting your intelligence, so don’t insult mine. Every time you vanish, so does he.”
“Those are just coincidences.”
“Seriously? Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“I think you’re imagining things.”
“I’ve seen you giving him little looks during surveillance, and as for him-he undresses you with his eyes.”
Alexander undresses me with his eyes. I can’t help but laugh.
“He’s one of the few men in this prison who doesn’t see me as a piece of meat.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.”
“You’re talking nonsense.”
“You know that almost dying with someone can strengthen a bond?”
“There’s no bond between us.”
“You two are hiding a lot.”
“I swear nothing is going on.”
“Just make sure you find a good hiding place when it does happen. If word gets out, it won’t be easy for you.”
“We’re not going to sleep together!”
“Who would blame you for sleeping with him? You’re completely free to make your own choices, Inara. No one would judge you—certainly not me, especially with how Alexander looks! He’s so sexy…”
His voice changes tone. I raise an eyebrow.
“You’re into guys?”
He gives me an embarrassed look, averts his eyes, and turns bright red.
“What?! No, of course not! What are you saying?!”
I stare at him, and eventually, he lowers his gaze.
“I’m not judging you.”
“Please keep it to yourself.”
“Don’t worry.”
“Thanks. It could cause me a lot of trouble.”
“Who knows?”
He blushes even more and avoids my gaze.
“Anis and Franck know, don’t they? That’s why they treat you like their dog.”
4/5
